Dear Vanya,
Each one of us here has our own story: some are making merry, while the others are frustrated living theirs’; everyone’s life is at war: some relish being in the battleground whereas others protest the bloodshed, the inadequate food and water, the sleepless nights, and the suffering. The separation from their beloved torments them more than the cold wind biting their chest. Each morning, their forlorn heart beats louder than the shots fired upon them, and every night, they fear their soul would escape—through the hole pierced by the enemy’s bullet—without having said a final goodbye.
Who would cry when they breathe their last? Will the decade of silence speak for itself? Will the lady with the velvet robe come to his funeral and offer prayers for him? Will she sit beside his grave and weep till the dawn? Will she think of him in her dreams? Maybe not. But they keep on keeping on, don’t they? Despite knowing that they hardly matter to the person who matters them the most. Ever imagined, how they do it? Well, it’s the magical four-lettered word: HOPE! It’s the optimism of seeing a new sun on a familiar horizon that motivates them to take one more step—a step towards the liberation of their soul.
Will she think of him in her dreams? Maybe not. But they keep on keeping on, don’t they? Despite knowing that they hardly matter to the person who matters them the most.
Vanya, my dear, they’re a strange lot of men. Mostly, they’re silent and lost in their own world. Their life might be full of struggle, but they won’t breathe a word about it even to their closest aide. I’ve seen them walk into the woods, and never come out it for hours. Hah! You could spot them easily. Saw that guy with his hands in his pocket. No, he wasn’t chilled—he simply didn’t know what to do with them. They like to keep their conversation short and simple and would avoid looking directly into your eyes. Well, their world is different. And, mysterious!
My beautiful girl, it’s remarkable how a single encounter could turn your world upside down. One person, one moment: that’s all it takes to ignite a disturbance in your heart, a whirlwind mighty enough to throw your life into disarray. Everything starts appearing hazy. Confusion, doubt, embarrassment, regret—that’s how you feel every time you think about it. Heightened emotions, loneliness, sudden loss of interest—the remorse just keeps begging for more.
There’s so much to learn, a lot to discover, and this—ah! This is just the beginning.
But hold on, my dear. Be brave! It’s just a phase, and it shall pass. After a few months, all of it will cease to matter. You’ll find that this was one of the many life-learning lessons, equally important as taking your first step and falling halfway or learning to pronounce a word after stammering for days. There’s so much to learn, a lot to discover, and this—ah! This is just the beginning.
Observe the nature around you. Behold the mighty mountains and the stormy seas—lose yourself into its magnificence. Do what your heart has yearned for long! Question the established rules! Question why people desire happiness; instead, why not find pleasure in melancholy? Why is the light attributed with ‘positiveness’, and the dark as ‘negative’? Why are there so many rules and regulations governing our life? Why the racism and the caste and religious divide? Question the government, question the people… But most of all, my bud, question yourself!
How does it feel to stand your ground in a storm? Or, taking a plunge in that dark river in January? Do you fear it, my love! Does your heart rate accelerate? If it does, and it should, take a deep breath. Close your eyes and remember me. And, I shall be there by your side, holding your hands, and whispering into your ears: You can do it! Just like the old times.
Your proud papa.
In That Loop 